Saturday, July 26, 2008

Don't Numb the Pain

A tear falls
I feel it
But do not despair
Running against the wind
And the sun is angry
But smile despite the agony
I would rather touch your hand
Then close my eyes
Ferocious tearing verses apathy
Let go and have peace
In cold empty sleep
Wait for my answer
Watch my clutching hand
This is my refusal
My madness
My victory

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Dream

Echoes of life, snared
Entrapped or enraptured
Crushed against the window pane
Perfect picture of agony
Of beauty, suffering, wholeness,
In consumate, searing flame

Monday, June 09, 2008

So Human (Part I)

1)I'm so human
2)As I curse the moon
3)With such frail fury
4)That the night laughs
5)But only softly
6)Watching me drown
7)Insane, fey calmness
8)Wide eyed with both feet planted
9)Holding on tightly
10)To prove that my letting go
11)Means something less or something more
12)While I'm breathing fervently
13)As the shadows engulf my head
14)One more loneliness to deny
15)A knife in the dark deflects
16)But doesn't, and I gasp at the bleeding
17)That is not happening, but is
18)And I fall, like a shadow of nothing
19)Scream and measure my relevance
20)By its volume

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Dylan Thomas Poem

And Death Hath No Dominion By Dylan Thomas
And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

and the Dark is surprised
Look at the moon
Watch her spots wither away
Until she has no blemish
Not in His eyes

Life, Ha!

Life is crazy.
For me, now, its good. Life is always predominantly good. I mean, I live in America, what could happen? ::smirk:: They always say things like that in movies right before they die gruesomely or something important blows up. But God is good, I love my family, I'm not failing school, I have tons of friends. I am young and healthy. This is all fantastic.

I need to do more with this. I'm just sittin here soaking it in. And that is fine at times. But now is the time to share what I got. To go out and make people smile and think, to give people love. I need to stop brooding over my little problems, cuz not only are they very small, but they could be great blessings if I would just let them be! So I will. I've been hibernating too long. Letting the tide take me. And it hasn't taken me good places. I've gotten a little bit off track. Now is time for me to get back on track. Starting with going to bed and finishing this Poli Sci paper in the morning.

Friday, April 25, 2008

I love you, goodbye

These fancy clothes are not mine!
Take away these faded faces
Roboticly repeating "Fine"
This is not who I am

Perfect flowers in empty pots of clay
Broken people jumping out of clean windows
I am the ashes that you throw away
Bullet holes in both eyes

Tired cars leave tire marks all over me
My fists are bleeding with nothing to show
Break open my lungs, will I be free?
Smile, no one will notice

Gunning down my dreams with an open grin
Go down swinging my arms vaguely
Learning that I don't know how to win
Wish you'd given me swimming lessons

There's no black and white
But the grey in between is killing me
Give up, the fog is tired of this fight
Catch, hold, release, suffocate, die

If wishes were wings I'd fly to you
Past all the beggers with horses who think this is fine
I wake up with dust as the only thing that's true
In my eyes, in my mouth, blowing away in the wind

And I whisper, wildly, fiercely, vainly
" I love you, Goodbye"

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Confession of the Hobo in the Night

What is magic?

What is laughter?

What is despair?

What is love?

What happens when a star falls?

What happens when a man wakes up and realizes that he will always be what he is and that what is is not what he wants to be, that where he is is perpetually a step away from what he should be....or maybe a step and a half? Maybe he falls apart in despair. Or.... MAYBE! Maybe he says that God will make up the difference, that God fills that step and a half. And then goes out and makes sure that he is only a step and a half away.

I am not great. I am not even good. I always wanted to be magnificent. But I'm not. And I kind of feel that I will never really be magnificent....but God can use the losers, the almosts, the foolish, the half-assed,the creepers, the failures, the addicts, the doubters, the cowards, the thieves, the liars and the matter how many steps from ideal, no matter how many steps from magnificent they have gone. That list embodies me. But....BUT I keep walking, and believe, that more than maybe, Christ can and will make up the difference between me and magnificent.