Yeah, I'm back

So yeah, I've been away for a considerable time, but I'm back now, sort of. It may or may not be the same me, I haven't decided yet. I've been in a sardonic and bitterly ironical mood of late. I'm not exactly sure what I can and cannot say on here anymore, which is very frustrating and is beginning to make me wonder what the meaning of this foolish site is after all. In fact, I've been wondering about the meaning of almost everything lately, which isn't really in itself new, I'm always wondering, but I've actually changed some views, which is a rare move of boldness. I wrote like 12 poems in those three weeks of silence, and I will probably post them all, and then some heh heh. I suspect that they'll probly get boring after a while, so pretty much just tell me that I'm boring you out of your mind and I'll most likely quit.
Finally
Tired tomorrow,
Weeping clouds,
Blocking off the sunshine now,
Feeding on my light, again
Where does the mud end?
Can my feet ever stand firm?

I have cried into the mirror
Aghast at the monster inside
And the rain keeps falling
The road grows thick
I'm alone and can't go forward
When will all the blackness be over?

Tear at the shadows
Scream at the setting sun
I almost understand this
Maybe knowing something
Nearly hearing hope
Life is here at my doorstep

Calling, crying, bleeding
Sweat and foam and pain
Someone tell me what I'm thinking
What do I know?
I'm holding more than a feeling
I won't let this go

Alive and breathing
Wonder where the air comes from
The clouds are breaking
I'm still on the road
He won't let me go
I'm pulled beyond the fear

And I can stand, just maybe
There's no other option
Clinching teeth against this blackness
Blocking ears from all these lies
Ripping this blanket of deception
Heart blistering, soul drenched in sweat

Tomorrow seems so useless
Every day is just the same
But I will remember
I still hold fast
Clinging to the melody
Of a near-forgotten song

The blood still dripping
Commands that I walk on
His pierced hand is beckoning
And though the road is long
I reach for Him; look into His eyes
As it kills me, I win the race

Laughing at my failures
They can't hurt me now
I'm beyond the need for feeling
No fear left of losing hope
Triumph is so beautiful
Smiling at my Saviour

You won this battle for me
Bought me with Your pain
Washing away my putridity
With Your bloody tears
This is the pinnacle of victory
Finally I'm more then fine

Ok, that's it for tonight folks, more tomorrow hopefully,
taTa